My Aunt Netso took this picture yesterday and it almost made me cry. I looked and saw this sad looking mom, holding her sick baby wondering.. about LOTS! Then i realized it was me :(
I have so much on my mind lately. Libbi has been sick with a high fever (102) for a couple days. She hasn't been eating or sleeping well. She has been really grumpy. I took her yesterday and her sats were anywhere from 76-82. Not sure what to take from that? Do you go with the highest number that pops up? Who knows. I emailed Dr Menon before making an appt with Dr Rose to see if he thought it was necessary to take her in. I did not want to. I wanted to take her swimming instead. I wanted to play with her, and let her play, like a normal healthy 2 year old would do. I didn't want her to be sick. He said to take her in so i did. The conclusion was a possible bladder infection. We won't know until tomorrow on that. This is not all thats on my mind. Her MRI is next week. Her surgery is getting closer, within the year for sure. Probably sooner. I don't want to spend time in the hospital. I don't want to leave my other kids with someone else. I just don't want to do this. But i'm grateful she's here with us. As hard as it is, i'm grateful.
On top of the worry of Libbi i now have a new baby. With a crooked head! I worry about him, that i don't spend enough time loving on him. That he gets ignored.
I worry about Koy and Jerzi. They are at an very impressionable age. Koy will be baptized this fall (if he chooses to) and i hope i have taught him all he needs to know to make that decision. I worry about them at school, playing with friends, how they act towards others. Then there's the business. I worry about Kurt, if he is too stressed, if he will just explode one day with too much on his mind. I worry about the bills, the house being nice, staying healthy and teaching my kids to eat healthy, the yard looking presentable. There is so much to think about and today its overwhelming!
But i'm still grateful.
Thanks for listening :)
3 comments:
I hear ya loud and clear sista~ oh, the joys of being a mother, and a wife. You just described exactly how I feel right now, and to top it all off, my strawberry jam just exploded in my microwave:) Thanks for the reminder to count my blessings. We can do it!!
oh, and I love your guts! In case you were wondering:)
I think we all feel like that sometimes...or most of the time. I've found the hardest thing about being a mother is the worrying. It never goes away, it just changes from worrying about one thing to worrying about something else.
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